The cold.

Tonight it was my turn to clean (all 11 of us girls have turns) the hall, and after I was finished and took the trash outside. I was in my t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops (summer wear) and I open the door and felt the cold breeze blow all over me. I walked to the dumpster and threw away the trash then sat down on this bench in the garden area. I just sat there in the 30 degree weather and looked at the sky and enjoyed the complete silence. I started to think God I am so utterly blessed, to be here in Russia. There are so many moments in the day I am just going and doing and I don't just sit here in Russia (sure I sit in my classroom or room). I just took a moment to just breathe in this blessing and thought I think I will have my quiet time out here. I opened my bible and read,John 1:16:

"From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another." 

I just started to feel this overwhelming feeling that God loves me and sometimes I never just sit and breathe in the blessings he give me. This past few weeks I have been feeling so insecure and just worthless and have focused so much on that. Sure there are moments when I see something here in beautiful St. Petersburg and think this is beautiful. But I have almost let my mind become clouded with the ideas of insecurity and worthlessness and not on the facts that God loves me so much he wants to bless me daily. I need to stop focusing so much on how I feel but on what I know that God made me and right now one of the biggest blessing I have is being here in Russia. But when I was sitting on the bench I started to think about all the daily things God does for me.

I think I am going to end  this by naming blessing God has given me just this week. (I recommend that you all do the same thing, and see how much God loves and blesses you, not just focusing on your feelings and crap that happens)

> Having a 2 game nights with some of my friends here at SPCU.

> Seeing the winter palace, Hermitage, and palace square.

> Hanging out and laughing at small group with friends.

> Have Lydia taking care of me when I was sick.

> God healing me from being sick.

> Being able to sing and dance to a Russia song in front of SPCU students.

> Laugh, have tea, and eat cake after a fun night for new students at SPCU.

> Go on an adventure to Ice Skating that turned out to be a fun adventure with a lot of new friends.

> Going to have dinner with a new friends at their university, and meeting lots of other Russians there.

> And getting to sit in the silent, beauty, and cold russia night, and just enjoy God's presence.